It is impossible to move forward until we forgive ourselves as well as others. Unless we forgive our future is blocked. Refusal to forgive means we have condemned ourselves to a poorer more unhappy life. It means that the past is holding us captive. The hurt and bitterness will continue to grow and fester and will eventually consume us. It will zap all of the air out of the room and leave us exhausted. There is absolutely no payoff for holding on to hurt. Let it go.

            You probably will not be able to forget. Forgetting is different from forgiving. We need to learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others. We need to learn also from the way we handled or mishandled our responses to those transgressions. These are growth experiences if we are willing to accept ourselves and others for who and what we are. We are human beings who make mistakes, who sometimes get things wrong, who disappoint ourselves and others. We are also human beings who most often get things right, who are generous, loving and kind.