Posts Tagged Furman

Beamer and Rayburn, “Listening Is Key.”

When I was teaching speech classes at Furman University, football players lined the back rows of my tiered classroom because they thought it would be an easy course. Never take a course from a newly minted instructor. It is the only time in my entire life that a coach invited me to lunch.  Now it seems that those football players might have had a glimpse into the future.

In the last two weeks both the newly minted head coach at the University of South Carolina and Hunter Rayburn, the center at Clemson, have listed communication as the major factor in whether their teams win or lose. “Getting the communication down is the key,” Rayburn said. If those Furman players who lined the back rows had paid attention they might be head coaches or NFL players today.

This is not new. Way back when Jesus was the head coach he said, “Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.” Unfortunately he had no more success with that than I did. Good sales men and women will tell you, “If you listen to your customer, he or she will tell you what she or he wants. If you want to make a sale, listen.”

Active listening is hard work. It seems deceptively simple. All you have to do is sit there with your mouth closed. Right? Wrong. Just because you are not talking doesn’t mean that you are listening. You must tune in to what is being said. Open your eyes and look at the speaker. Stop thinking of clever things to say when the other person stops talking. Pay attention to your emotional triggers.

After delivering the same sermon twenty-three weeks in a row, the preacher was asked when he was going to preach a new sermon. He answered, “There is no indication that anyone has heard this one yet.”

Listening is the hardest of the communication skills to master. It is the least taught and the most important. Take this test. Turn off your phone. Listen to your significant other or friend for two minutes without interrupting or thinking of a clever response and see what happens. If you truly listen, you’ll be a hero.

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Where and How It Started

The December 3, 2021 issue of the Charleston Post and Courier posted a column from the Washington Post by Catherine Rampell, ”Priceless lessons from my sixth-grade English teacher.” This column caused me to reminisce about my own beginnings as a writer.

When I was young, two important events happened to me on the same day that played a significant role in my future. I was called to the principal’s, office, Mr. Livingston, at Woodruff high school. There to my total surprise I was presented with a check for $15.00. I was the winner of the contest to rename the Woodruff Soap Box Derby. My winning name, the Thrill Derby.

When I arrived home my dad handed me a letter which contained a check from the Progressive Farmer magazine for my article, “The Champ and I.” It was then that my dad decided that my interest in writing just might pay off. Although both checks were small, they were huge for a young teenager.

My interest in writing was kindled by Miss Coleman, my sixth grade teacher at Northside Grammar school. She introduced us to poetry and then required us to write a poem. At first I tried to ridicule the assignment with an absurd poem, but finally turned in my poem, “South Carolina.” She liked it so much that she submitted it to the Spartanburg Herald. The editor must have liked it because one Sunday morning there it was in the newspaper. Miss Coleman did not return after the Christmas break, but she had left her mark.

Eventually I became editor of our high school newspaper, Woodruff High Times, and was on the staff of both the Mars Hill College newspaper and the Furman University newspaper, The Hornet. It was through the Hornet that I interviewed Edward Weeks, editor of the Atlantic Monthly, when he came to Greenville for a lecture. I did my homework and when the time came I was prepared. He invited me to stay after the interview. “There must be others like you at Furman. Tell your instructor that I would be happy to meet with a small group of students if she will arrange it.” Sara Lowery, head of the speech department, arranged a small luncheon in a private room in the cafeteria. We ate steak while the other students ate hotdogs. That experience taught me to always do my homework.

While working toward a Master’s degree at the University of Alabama I developed an interest in how we develop and apply listening skills. I also wrote a paper comparing the traditional freshman course in speech to courses in mass communication courses. This paper was accepted to be presented at the national convention of the Speech Association of America in Chicago. Dr. T; Earle Johnson for whom the paper was written didn’t think too highly of it when I turned it in to him, but after its acceptance by the national association he said, “Mitch, let me read that paper again.” A revised version was my first professional publication. It was published in the Furman University Studies Bulletin. Dr. Reid at Furman was my first real editor.

I owe a great debt to Ms. Eugenia Coleman and Dr. Alfred S. Reid. Both started me on a journey that still continues.

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My Friend, Joyce Harris Murray

“I give thanks for every remembrance of you.”

Joyce graced my life for more than 60 years. We were classmates at Furman University. We did not run in the same circles. Joyce was a beauty queen and I was not.

When I arrived in Charleston and First Baptist Church, Joyce and Bennett were already here. The four of us Bennett, Joyce, Liz and I became friends. Joyce and Liz shared the same birthday.

Joyce was a beautiful person inside and outside. Her hair was her crown and glory. She had the same beauty shop appointment for more than 50 years.

On my birthday after Bennett died I received a crazy birthday card from Bennett. The return address was Bennett Murray, Heaven. Joyce said she found it in Bennett’s things and knew it was meant for me.

My most cherished memories of Joyce are as Carol’s condition became worse, I started attending choir practice with Joyce, Gene Plyler, and Carol. We would go to Chick-fil-a afterwards for dinner. Joyce and Carol got the children’s meal which contained a small toy. The two women traded their toys for an ice cream cone. Something neither of them should have.

Joyce loved sausage biscuits and would stop at Hardee’s on the way to church to get one. One day when looking for something in that huge purse she had, there was a sausage biscuit hard as a rock. After my Aunt Alice, Joyce made the best ambrosia.

Other than her family, Joyce had three loves: First Baptist Church, the Furman singers and flowers. Joyce never had to tell anyone that she was a Christian. It oozed out of every pore.

Joyce and I differed on many topics and she never failed to chastise me. When I was writing a column for the Post and Courier, Joyce was an avid reader and an avid  critic.  but Joyce was the first to tell me that my efforts at Say Something Nice was my mission.

How do you say goodbye to an old and dear friend? You don’t.

Joyce Murray will be in my memory forever until I see her again. What a day of rejoicing that will be!

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A Great Host Surrounds Us – Celebrating 335 Years

Not many churches in the United States can boast of being 335 years old, but on September 24, 2017 First Baptist Church of Charleston will celebrate that honor. The current sanctuary, designed by Robert Mills, was dedicated in 1822. The congregation moved from Kittery, Maine in 1696. Mr. Elliott gave the current property for a Baptist church in 1699. We know there has been a Baptist church at this location since 1701.

It is inspiring to think about the people who have worshipped here, the ministers who have served here, the ministers and missionaries that the church has produced. The most significant milestone is the thousands of ordinary people who have contributed thousands of hours and millions of dollars to make our world a better place. We may never know their names but they have built and repaired houses, taught school, mentored children, served in the homeless shelter, sang in retirement homes and jails, coached sports, visited in homes and hospitals, prepared and served meals to the bereaved, packed school bags, gone on local and foreign mission trips, visited the sick at home and in hospitals, performed yard work, tutored inner-city children and provided childcare and senior care. What has been the impact of 335 years of faithful service for no other reason than it is the right thing to do? What has been the impact of millions of hours of volunteer service to this city and around the world? No one can calculate the impact.

We remember the names of the famous pastors: Screven, Hart, Manly, Furman, Hamrick and organist David Redd, but these are the ones who inspired the volunteers and urged them on to fulfill the mission of the church. Before the Civil War the church had 200 African/American children in Sunday school and more Black members than White members. After the war the Black members were invited to remain and many of them did and served until their deaths. Others went across town and formed Morris Brown Baptist Church. From the beginning the pastors nurtured young prospective ministers. Furman University was the natural offspring of those efforts. Southern Baptist Theological Seminary grew out of Furman.

Dr. John Hamrick started a day school in 1947 long before the civil rights movement. He was the founding president of what is now Charleston Southern University. The church started the rehabilitation of Market Street during the pastorate of Paul Craven Jr. by purchasing a site and erecting the John Hamrick Activity Center in the early 1970s.

Under the leadership of the current pastor, the Rev. Marshall Blalock, the church is building a new high school campus on James Island and planning to renovate the historic campus downtown.

For 335 years the congregation and its leadership have modeled the scripture, “Where there is no vision the people perish.” There is still a vision and the future is bright.

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