When I was teaching speech classes at Furman University, football players lined the back rows of my tiered classroom because they thought it would be an easy course. Never take a course from a newly minted instructor. It is the only time in my entire life that a coach invited me to lunch. Now it seems that those football players might have had a glimpse into the future.
In the last two weeks both the newly minted head coach at the University of South Carolina and Hunter Rayburn, the center at Clemson, have listed communication as the major factor in whether their teams win or lose. “Getting the communication down is the key,” Rayburn said. If those Furman players who lined the back rows had paid attention they might be head coaches or NFL players today.
This is not new. Way back when Jesus was the head coach he said, “Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.” Unfortunately he had no more success with that than I did. Good sales men and women will tell you, “If you listen to your customer, he or she will tell you what she or he wants. If you want to make a sale, listen.”
Active listening is hard work. It seems deceptively simple. All you have to do is sit there with your mouth closed. Right? Wrong. Just because you are not talking doesn’t mean that you are listening. You must tune in to what is being said. Open your eyes and look at the speaker. Stop thinking of clever things to say when the other person stops talking. Pay attention to your emotional triggers.
After delivering the same sermon twenty-three weeks in a row, the preacher was asked when he was going to preach a new sermon. He answered, “There is no indication that anyone has heard this one yet.”
Listening is the hardest of the communication skills to master. It is the least taught and the most important. Take this test. Turn off your phone. Listen to your significant other or friend for two minutes without interrupting or thinking of a clever response and see what happens. If you truly listen, you’ll be a hero.