Posts Tagged peace

Carter and Clinton Presidential Libraries

 

Suzanne, my daughter, drove us from Murfreesboro, Tennessee to Atlanta on the Friday after Thanksgiving to visit the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library. We looked around for a place to have dinner and found the Lazy Dog Café. We read about it earlier but we were surprised to find it. Out wait person was excellent, our food was wonderful and the atmosphere fun. It even has an outside area where dogs are welcome.

The Library is in a beautiful park setting with trees of every kind. The displays inside are beautifully done and are true to history. The layout is very people friendly with chairs and benches placed throughout. There are thousands of photographs and dozens of videos. There is a well done introductory video of Mr. Carter’s life. Throughout the exhibit you realize that this is a man who stayed true to his values and who worked tirelessly for peace. There is a replica of the Oval Office. The taking of the American hostages is fully explored. There is also an exhibit of his return to Plains.

The next Friday we were off to Little Rock and the Clinton Presidential Library. Naturally we had to find a god place for dinner. We found David’s that serves a wonderful hamburger made from ground chuck which they grind daily. The wait staff walks around with baskets of hot French fries. Again our food was excellent, our wait person enthusiastic about her job and the atmosphere fun.

The Clinton Library also is in a beautiful setting down by the waterfront. Clinton hoped that the location would help revitalize that area of the city. The design of the library is based on The Long Room at Trinity College. The exhibits are extensive and well done. The Cabinet Room was fascinating in that there were videos placed in the table. You could explore how decisions were made. There is a display of one of the formal dinners complete with the table setting. There is an extensive display on human rights. There is a major emphasis on Women’s Rights.

Unlike the Carter Center there are very few benches or chairs. We had a wonderful lunch in the restaurant. The wait person was cordial and our food was excellent and ample.

I left with great pride of being an American. Here are two men, Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, from absolutely nowhere, with no financial means, and no grand family background and yet they rose to the highest office in the world. They are great reminders of who we are as a people.

I am grateful that Suzanne was willing to do all of this driving so that I could visit the two libraries. I am also grateful for the time we shared.

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On Speaking and Keeping Silent – Goodfaithmedia

The conversation was flowing as usual at a dinner with friends when suddenly my friend grew very angry. I did not see this outburst coming.

He asked a question about the recent national election, which I responded to in a very polite manner. He accused me of a lack of sensitivity to his question and of having a preformed answer that included my biases.

Such is the nature of the public square today. The slightest misstep leads to a tirade of language that lacks any relationship to civility. If your response is not what the person expects to hear, then the attack is on.

I apologized for any misunderstanding; however, we spent the remainder of the evening in a very uneasy silence.

Our friendship stretches for more than 30 years and, yes, I am aware of most of his convictions. Until this point, we have been able to have meaningful rational discussions on a wide variety of issues.

Somehow the current climate has put an end to rational discussions. Either you agree or you disagree. If you disagree, then you are now an enemy.

Where did civility go?

An American Airlines flight from Miami to London loaded with passengers was forced to return to Miami after traveling more than 500 miles because a passenger became combative over wearing a mask. She clearly knew the rules before boarding the plane.

Rioters stormed our nation’s capital and shredded 200 years of history of peaceably passing power from one administration to another. They were responding to a lie that had been repeated over and over again.

Where has reason gone?

Many of us feel helpless to do anything, but there is something that we can all do, if we are willing to make the effort.

A song that became popular in the late 1950s and ’60s carries the answer, “Let there Be Peace on Earth and Let It Begin with Me.” The song was first introduced to youth groups and then its popularity spread around the world.

Peacemaking isn’t passivity, and it doesn’t mean that we keep silent in the face of injustice, oppression and falsehood. Jesus made it clear that the peaceable kingdom he envisioned would not come easily or without unrest (Matthew 10), and the prophet Jeremiah condemned those who proclaimed peace when there was no peace (6:14).

So, there are times to speak out and times to keep silent, as the writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us (3:7). Knowing the difference isn’t easy, and each of us must make that decision on a case-by-case basis.

Upon further reflection, I concluded that I should not have answered my friend’s question. I should have remained silent. AA puts it even more directly, “You don’t have to go to every fight to which you are invited.”

Learning to let it go is very hard. I had a choice, and I made the wrong one. I should have just listened.

Perhaps if I had listened longer or more intently, I would have heard his frustration. I would have learned that he was making a statement not asking a question. Perhaps he just wanted someone to listen.

Listening is the hardest communication skill to learn. In 1995, I published Twelve Keys to Improved Communication. The first of those keys is still the most important, “Stop talking.”

We never learn anything when we are talking. Just because we have stopped talking doesn’t mean that we are listening. So many of us use times of silence to craft our response. That is not listening.

I also developed a pledge to accompany those keys:

“I will listen to you without interruption for at least two minutes. I will look at you while you are talking and not engage in any other activity. When I do respond to you, I will respond appropriately to what you said. I will not pin a label on you or call you names. I will not raise my voice or use profanity. I will keep my remarks centered in the present and not dredge up the past. I will treat you with the same respect that I demand for myself.”

Most of us find it hard to listen for two minutes without being distracted. We’re not alone, as people have found it hard to listen for centuries.

Most of us have hot buttons that, when pushed, cause us to stop listening and get ready to fight. With work, we can learn to recognize our hot buttons and strive to overcome them.

The one thing we can all do is to make sure that we do not contribute to the dysfunction.

The song writers, Jill Jackson-Miller and Sly Miller, point the way: “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”

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A Unique Approach to Passing the Peace – Madison Avenue Baptist Church

Madison Avenue Baptist Church in New York City where Rev. Susan Sparks is the senior minister has a unique method for Passing the Peace or extending the Right Hand of Christian Fellowship during this pandemic. Because worshipers are scattered around the world and attending by smartphones or computer screens exercising social distancing, they are unable to touch each other. Rev. Sparks suggests that each listener reach out to at least three other people during the forthcoming week.

You can call, text or write each of your recipients. Next to face to face conversations hand written notes are the most personal and are most deeply appreciated. It is a way of staying in touch. It is a way to assure others that we have not forgotten them, that even in a pandemic they are important. Several years ago, I suggested that we could stretch the 12 days of Christmas over the entire year by choosing a date in each month and surprising a person with an unexpected greeting or small gift. Actually I like Susan’s idea better because you will reach more people. We are social beings and we need human contact.

Thursday of each week is Thankful Thursday. I ask this question on Linkedin.com. ‘Who are you thankful for today?” I then suggest that you let that person know of your gratitude. Thankful Thursday offers another opportunity to reach out, but now you are reaching out at least once each week. The purpose of all of these ideas is to stay in touch with others, especially those who have no family members nearby. You do not need to be a member of any religious or secular group to join in. Just do it because it makes you feel good.

Because people have time on their hands during this pandemic, I have heard from friends that I have not been in contact with for years. It is fun to catch up on what has happened in their lives. We all have such good intentions, but now we have the opportunity and the time to follow through and actually do those things we intended to do. Now we have the time.

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World Peace through Pulled Pork – Rev. Susan Sparks – The Shiny Side Up

I hail from a state that offers a no-fail plan for world peace. It’s not from politicians or pundits, peaceniks or pedagogues. No, my friends, the secret lies in how the people of North Carolina have learned to live with a difference of opinion so deeply ingrained that’s it almost genetically encoded. The bone of contention? Barbecue sauce.

If you didn’t have the privilege of being raised in a BBQ-centric state, this may seem a bit far-fetched. But those of us who have lived with the tension, endured the heated debates, and been dismissed or demeaned because of our sauce preference know better.

To paraphrase Norman Maclean, the author of A River Runs Through It, there is no clear line between religion and [North Carolina barbecue]. And religion is something you don’t monkey with Ever.

The sauce saga began over 300 years ago with the introduction of a tangy, vinegar-based sauce—a vestige of Caribbean and West Indian influences that included vinegar, salt, and black and red pepper. The turning point came in 1876 when Heinz introduced a new-fangled concoction called ketchup. Soon after, the western part of the state led by German immigrants in Lexington, North Carolina, began experimenting with a different, sweeter tomato-based sauce. Like a Baptist church that stopped lovin’ Jesus, this was the ultimate blasphemy.

Brother began to turn against brother, family against family. Everyone jumped into the fray, and the name calling continues to this day. For example, Dennis Rogers, a columnist, western sauce advocate and the self-appointed “Oracle of the Holy Grub,” once publicly referred to the eastern recipe as “imitation BBQ.” At the other end of the spectrum, author Jerry Bledsoe, a rabid eastern sauce advocate, and the self-professed “world’s leading, foremost barbecue authority,” once wrote in the Raleigh News and Observer, “”People who would put ketchup in the sauce they feed to innocent children are capable of most anything.”

This is war, and it’s a war not unlike many of our modern headlines. In fact, most of our global problems break down into the same formula as the NC barbecue ruckus: someone is trying to mess with something that is “holy” to someone else.

Some people treat money like it’s holy. Others give holy status to land, power, oil, truth or barbeque sauce. Given this parallel, perhaps our global leaders might consider studying how North Carolinians have engaged in a generations-old fight without annihilating each other.

Our solution is quite simple. Step one: we remember what we have in common. North Carolinians may fight over the sauce, but in the end, we are all lovers of what it enhances: pulled pork. What if Democrats and Republicans tried this approach? Our two parties fight over, well, everything. But in the end – Democrats or Republicans – we’re are all Americans.

Step two: North Carolinians realize that while we disagree on the means, the end goal is the same: we are all just trying to make a better barbecue sauce. What if we gave the same consideration to those who walk a different path? What if we assumed the good intentions of those who are different and offered them the benefit of the doubt?

Step three: We put all the sauces on the table and share a meal together. Oscar Wilde once said, “After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relatives.” I found out the truth of this statement growing up in Charlotte, the war-torn border of the barbecue wars, which meant we knew a thing or two about compromise. For example, during holiday dinners family members gathered around our table would include people from eastern andwestern North Carolina, South Carolinians (who worship a completely different, mustard-based sauce), and even, gasp, Texans, who prefer brisket to pulled pork. My mother, always the diplomat, would place all the different meats and sauces on the table, give one of her “looks” to the gathered barbecue enemies, then announce like a general on a battlefield, “Now sit down and eat. And let’s agree to disagree.”

And that, my friends, is how you accomplish world peace. Like mixing a beloved barbecue sauce, it just takes a dash of diplomacy, a pinch of patience, and equal portions of empathy and respect. So, the next time you feel your blood pressure spiking over the daily news, imagine pulling up a chair, putting all the sauces on the table, and enjoying a meal with those with whom you disagree.

(I’m proud to share that the piece you just read, “World Peace through Pulled Pork,” was recently featured as a column in newspapers across the country for GateHouse Media.)

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