Posts Tagged speak

Simple Rules for Better Communication – www.day1.org

 Tuesday June 01, 2021

As we begin to gather again and assemble in larger groups, “Say Something Nice Sunday” comes in time to remind us of some simple rules of engagement. We will be so happy to see each other again. The fifth-tenth annual event takes place on June 6th.

Stop talking. Give others a chance. This is difficult because there is so much we want to share. We have been separated for so long. Smile thus breaking the ice. Smiling is a universal language. Speak to people. You may need to introduce yourself. In many cases we will still be wearing our masks. Don’t assume the other person knows who you are. I learned this valuable lesson from the president of the board of the agency I headed. He always introduced himself. He did not assume that others would recognize him or remember his name.

Listen attentively. Because we are not talking does not mean that we are listening. Active listening demands personal discipline. Don’t spend your time thinking about what you will say next. Larry King, the television personality, was such a good interviewer because he listened to what his guest said and then responded to what had been said. Jesus said, “Whoever has ears, let them hear.” Matthew 11:15 (NIV)

Don’t interrupt. Interrupting is an act of aggression. It says that what I have to say is more important than what you have to say.

Delay judgment. Jumping to conclusions always poses the danger of arriving at the wrong conclusion. Crow never taste good.

Sincerely compliment others. Find something nice to say. Stay away from talking about physical attributes.

Consider the opinions of others. They might have something new or unique to contribute.

Be sensitive to the feelings of others. They may not take what you say the way that you intended. Remember Murphy’s Law. If it is possible for someone to misunderstand, she or he will.

Be approachable. Be aware of your body language. Uncross everything. Face the other person. Maintain eye contact.

Speak the truth, but speak the truth with love. It is not necessary to share everything you know. Don’t gossip. Dr. Arthur Caliandro, the late pastor of Marble Collegiate Church, said, “Be kinder than you think it necessary to be. The other person needs it more than you know.”

Stop talking. We return to the first key because it is so important. I learned a new acronym that applies to this key point from Rev. Susan Sparks – WAIT. Why am I talking? We never learn anything while we are talking.

There is so much in Scripture that helps us in our communication with others. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” St. Paul added, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 (NIV) In other words don’t stir up controversy.

We as Christians have a great message to share. Effective communication depends on our attitude toward others. If we show respect for others even though we may have great differences our efforts will most often be rewarded with good results. We want others to be happy to see us and not to moan when they see us coming. Our reputation so often precedes us. We want that reputation to be one that generates positive expectations.

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Mitch Carnell is a member of First Baptist Church of Charleston, SC. He is the author of, Our Father: Discovering Family. He blogs at www.mitchcarnell.com.

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Go into the world and ‘speak God,’ Merritt tells CBF Advocacy conference|

| MARCH 21, 2019 – BaptistNewsGlobal.com – By Blake Tommey

“The world needs you to speak ‘God,’ especially in this moment,” Jonathan Merritt, award-winning writer on religion and culture, said at the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship’s annual Advocacy in Action conference on March 14 in New York City.

Jonathan Merritt speaks at 2019 CBF Advocacy in Action conference.

“Do you believe in God?” Merritt continued. “That is, do you love God and have you taken a step of faith? Then that spark should start a fire on your lips. Even though ‘speaking God’ is in massive decline in America, all is not lost. I believe we can revive the vocabulary of faith and that’s my prayer for each of you—that you’ll become courageous, vulnerable, passionate God-speakers again.”

Advocacy in Action, traditionally held each year in Washington D.C., kicked off March 11 at host Metro Baptist Church, where more than 60 participants from across the Fellowship engaged the work of advocacy and the urban church. Throughout the four-day conference, participants visited the United Nations, the historic Riverside Church, Tenement Museum and learned about the work of immigration advocacy, religious liberty and racial justice from area Baptist pastors, CBF field personnel and community and government leaders on homelessness and hunger. Participants also visited Brooklyn’s Plymouth Church of the Pilgrims, a congregation founded by abolitionist leader Henry Ward Beecher and a central stop on the Underground Railroad.

Merritt, a resident of Brooklyn, joined the participants for their final day of conversations at MBC, where he followed a panel on urban hunger with a plea to reclaim overt faith language. Advocacy, in the name of a loving God, takes place in our everyday speech and conversation, Merritt said. The problem is, he added, hateful and destructive faith language dominates the conversation because moderates and progressives have shied away from talking openly about faith.

“Believers like you and me stop speaking God because we don’t like what these words have come to mean and the way they’ve been used,” said Merritt, whose latest book is titled Learning to Speak God from Scratch: Why Sacred Words Are Vanishing—and How We Can Revive Them. “But when we stay silent, all those people who are causing the problem get to hog the microphone.” Too many problematic voices—televangelists preaching for profit, politicians spreading xenophobia and bigotry or pastors peddling condemnation—are setting the tone for Christianity with their words, Merritt explained. “They dominate the conversation because we’ve stopped speaking God.”

In fact, he said, more than one-fifth of Americans admit they have not had a spiritual conversation at all in the last year, and only seven percent say they talk about spiritual matters about once a week. That’s surprising, Merritt explained, because the vast majority of Americans say they believe but do not speak about their faith. As for practicing Christians who attend church regularly, he added, only 13 percent are having spiritual conversations about once a week.

But how does the church find its voice again? How do we regain confidence in the language and vocabulary of faith? First, Merritt explained, Jesus followers must cultivate the courage it takes to have spiritual conversations, even with strangers on the subway or in the workplace. With courage, he said, the church can push past the skepticism and cynicism that typically dominates the public sphere, especially in urban settings like New York City.

Second, he added, Jesus followers must cultivate the vulnerability necessary to make faith language authentic and generous.

“To speak God doesn’t mean to preach at people,” Merritt said. “It means opening your heart and your spirit to share what is inside, to discuss your doubts and your darkness, your struggles and your sorrow. And that takes vulnerability. What are you doing in your life—this month, this week—to nurture vulnerability? You’ll need it to speak God.”

Finally, Merritt charged the church with developing the passion it takes to reclaim faith language. Instead of falling back on cognitive belief statements—a not-so-helpful result of the Enlightenment—Jesus followers must rekindle a genuine love and passion for God, Jesus and the spiritual life, he said. When you truly love something, Merritt explained, you will naturally speak openly about it.

“You know something in your head, but you believe something in your heart,” he said. “In fact, perhaps the best synonym for the ancient word ‘to believe’ is the word for ‘to belove,’ not ‘to know.’ Paul says that we fall in love with God, Jesus and the spiritual life, and that begins to bubble up and spill out of our mouths. So, what are you doing to stoke your love of God and spirituality each day? By nurturing your passion for God, you’ll find that it becomes easier for you to speak God again.”

Ultimately, the story of God’s action in the world is the story of the power of words, Merritt said. With words, God brought life to all creation and endowed humanity with God’s own image. With words, Jesus proclaimed good news to the poor and release to the captive. Jesus’ last commandment was to go into the world and “speak God,” he added. As today’s religious, political and social tumult continues, Merritt explained, the church has an opportunity to reclaim this rich tradition of words and allow faith language to instill grace and hope once again.

Watch a bonus video interview with Jonathan Merritt courtesy of CBF-partner EthicsDaily.com.

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Be Kind

Parade Magazine in a major article on January 1, 2017 stressed the idea that we should all strive to be kind this year. The author suggests many reasons why this is a beneficial thing to do. I agree with the premise of the article 100 percent. Just be kind.

Being kind sounds simple enough, but when reality sets in it’s a different story. I was riding with friends this week when the car in front of us took longer than usual to move on. One of the passengers in our car became irritated and began to shout at the driver in the other car. His yelling served no purpose except it irritated me. I am afraid I was not too kind.

We all become frustrated. We often feel that we have been mistreated, taken advantage of, or put down. It is at these moments that we need to hit our pause button and re-think the situation. Be kind. The Parade article editor encourages us to write a Thank You note once a week for the following year – a great idea. About ten years ago I started Thankful Thursday on my blog. The idea is that each Thursday we will single out a different person to thank for their contributions to our lives. Please join me in doing that. Tell the people around you just how much they mean to you.

We are talking about simple things. Put the neighbor’s newspaper on his or her porch. Bring their recycle container back from the curb. Ask if a shut-in needs something from the market when you are going. Hold the door for a mom pushing a baby carriage. Just find simple ways to be kind.

Saying something nice to every person you meet is easy If that is too difficult, just smile at her or him. You can create a better world.

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The Cuban Missile Crisis – A Family Story

The death of Fidel Castro has brought a flood of memories and reminded me of one of the most unexpected and rewarding experiences of my life. I recorded this story in my book, Our Father: Discovering Family, published last year by www.WipfandStock.com. This began in October 1962 and continued for the next several months.

The Cuban Missile Crisis ignited while we were in Baton Rouge and the city was flooded with Cuban refugees.  Somehow I was asked to teach a course in oral English for them at the YWCA.  The television program, Sing Along with Mitch (Miller) was popular at the time; therefore my courses quickly became known as Speak Along with Mitch.  What a turn of events.  Remember I flunked Spanish at Mars Hill College.  This exposure and acceptance by members of a different culture broadened my knowledge and appreciation for people whose backgrounds were far removed from my own.  Again the teacher learned more than the students.

This is a story that has played an important role in my development and in my understanding of who belongs in God’s kingdom. Who would have ever believed that I would have this brush with history.

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