Active listening is one of the factors demonstrated to reduce or delay the consequences of Alzheimer’s disease. Having someone in your life who really listens to you is more than good manners. It is good medicine. Do you know how to listen?
Stop talking. That’s the first step. Because we are not talking does not mean that we are listening. Try listening for two minutes. That may prove to be a long time. If so, listen for one minute without thinking about what you will say when your time comes to talk.
Concentrate on what your partner in conversation is saying. Listen to the words. Listen to the meaning. Listen to the emotions. Watch her or his body language. Is he or she smiling? Is he or she upset or angry? Try to respond in such a way that says I’m listening. Do not offer advice. Do not try to fix it. Your job is to listen and that is hard work. Above all, do not interrupt. When we interrupt we are saying what I have to say is more important that what you are saying. It is an aggressive act. No one likes being interrupted. Focus all of your attention on what the other person is saying.
This sounds so simple. We all think we are good listeners but research shows that we are not. The new head football coach at the University of South Carolina, Shane Beamer, says that the reason that the offensive line has performed so poorly in the first three games of the season, ”Is a breakdown in communication.” Someone is not listening. How many times have you heard those words or worse been told that you are not listening?
Everyone likes to talk. No one likes to listen. Be the exception.
